Wednesday, February 5, 2014

A Kindly-Meant-Question

There is such a difference between “questions-kindly-meant-but-didn’t-come-out-quite-right” and “questions-with-an-agenda-to-tell-you-my-opinion”. My friend’s question, thankfully, was a “kindly-meant” one. In case anyone else is also wondering the same thing, let me answer it here. His question, upon hearing of our current delay, was whether we had the opportunity to back out of this adoption.

He was not saying we had made a mistake in adoption or we should go find other kids that we could bring home faster because these kids weren’t worth waiting for. If he had implied that, I might have had some choice words for him.

He was asking, I think, if our adoption had gone belly-up and we were stuck with a huge financial loss and no kiddos to show for it. I think he was also asking if we might have done things differently if we had the option.

Simply put,
NO. This is not the case at all.

Ok, I admit, this process has taken twice as long as we ever dreamed. It has had more headaches and frustrations than I had thought possible. Yes, we are temporarily delayed again in this process. Yes, I have been pretty upset and emotional and impatient and annoyed and antsy.

Please hear me:


I do not wish we had made other decisions. I do not wish we could bail out and choose a different family-building strategy. I do not wish that somehow we had different kiddos that would come home sooner. I do not believe that we made a mistake in this. Life is on-hold and different, and there will be enormous challenges in the near future, but that’s ok. This is right. These kiddos are ours. There are no amount of delays that will change that.

Our fingerprint appointment has been scheduled for the 12th, the birth moms’ interviews are on the 19th. Our fingerprint officer says there is a good chance she can get our fingerprints to Ethiopia on or before the 19th, so after the 19th we will just be waiting for any subsequent paperwork that needs re-translation or updated dates or whatever. So, in a nutshell, we will positively not be traveling until sometime after the 19th.

Thanks for your patience and prayers as we are in the finishing stages of this process!

"Strangely Dim" a song by Francesca Battistelli that encouraged me this week:


  1. My heart is antsy right along with you. We just learned that we have an extra step in our adoption too, we have a hearing in two months to terminate bio-dads rights since he has been MIA since Addy was born, but the 'politically correct' court deems it necessary to try to find him to serve him with the termination papers. So we are waiting and praying.
    We also don't regret our adoption (even on the days I get overwhelmed and think "what have I done?" lol I don't regret it). God brought us to this and He will see us through this, working out every detail in His perfect time. There's a quote I heard a few years ago on Focus on the Family, by a woman named Hanzi, (there's a book about her -- Hanzi, the girl who left the swastika) and she said, "God's timing is perfect, and its always later than yours" :) it has been an encouragement to me in times of waiting when I just want the waiting to be over with. Praying for you guys and for you kids and for God's perfect timing. <3

  2. God knows exactly His plan for you and your kiddos. His timing is not ours, His timing is perfect. We may not understand why in this lifetime, but I do know this His timing is perfect. Loving you all from a distance.

  3. Hello Anna! Yes,we've heard these same questions before too.Daniel and I have learned after adopting 5 children,how to answer and with what spirit to answer in.We,who adopt,are Ambassadors to adoption.As much as we hear about adoption,it's still quite foreign to so many.All the paperwork,money,government red tape.What we have learned is that this is all testing.When the LORD is silent,we are being tested.You will have more questions,some quite ugly.This is preparation.You will have days where you will ask yourselves,"What on earth were we thinking ,two children at once?!!" All this is preparing you for all the trials that come with adoption.Adoption is the perfect picture of our adoption into the family of God.We begin to see just how stubborn and rebellious we really are toward the LORD.The honeymoon stage of adoption is very shortly lived.We realize we are in fact,dodging arrows almost upon arriving home with our little ones.The LORD is protecting you at this very moment,placing within you,a hard shell to those comments that will feel like daggers.Comments toward you and more so,toward your children.It will crush you,bringing pain.But look up for your salvation draws nigh!Jesus can work so passionately in such hearts.This is not to discourage,but to point out that the LORD is preparing you for a sort of battle.Because these little ones we receive are His,and we are to cover them.For He will bring His sons and daughters from all the different parts of the world.You were made for such a time as this!!The waiting brings patience,patience you will desperately need when you have your children about you,when you are asked far more intruding questions.We had a pastor say that we hadn't repented because Daniel didn't have a vasectomy reversal.We were stunned,shocked,hurt!I felt in that statement that this man was implying that our children weren't a blessing.Daniel kindly educated this man,sharing the Gospel with him in a way he never saw as a pastor...Adoption IS the Gospel!!!Keep on your knees because that's where the battle really takes place.It won't be long now.....

  4. If you or any of your friends need encouragement,my everything ADOPTION Pinterest board has many quotes,Scriptures and short stories to lift you up.

    1. Thank you for your encouragement, Tammy :) I appreciate you!