Thursday, June 21, 2012

What We Do Know

I debated leaving this post blank, because that's what it feels like-- we know nothing. Ok, it's not that bad. Here is what we do know about our wait time based on our phone-conference with our agency (Dove) this morning:

  1. Kiddos are not matched with families in the order that the families are waiting. The matching process is more kid-family specific: looking for the right family that fits the right kid. This means that families that have been waiting the longest are not specifically going to be matched before a family that has waited a shorter amount of time.
  2. There are 40 families with Dove that are currently waiting.
  3. We have been waiting 9 months for a referral and are on “the bottom half of that list of 40”. Our agency refuses to be more specific.
  4. There have been only 5 referrals through our agency since the beginning of the year.
  5. Dove just signed an agreement with another orphanage in Ethiopia, so their hope is that there will be more placements in the semi-near future.
  6. Changing the perimeters (age, gender, etc) of the kiddo we are requesting may or may not speed up the process.
  7. We will have to re-do significant portions of our homestudy and dossier because they will expire. Some can be the same or simply refreshed, others must be completely new.
  8. We still have a God that loves my son even more than I do, and the timing is in His perfect hands.
  9. God gives strength for each day, but not for the entire process all at once!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Handling "Crazy"

Just a few of the books we have for him

I am ready for the last two days to be over. Between being at the wrong place at the right time, forgetting to add eggs to my pancakes, 3 trips to the grocery store in the same day, and simply being a ditz, yes, I'm ready for it to not be today!
In the midst of my spastic morning, however, God allowed a friend and I to pray for another brother in Christ (a complete stranger) that was going through some rough times. I had to smile as I came home to Philip and declared (still trying to convince myself) that “I can handle crazy if God's hand is in it!”
This bold declaration was tested when we got the e-mail with a list of when dossier pieces will expire, and when we will need to renew them. Great. It looks like our fingerprints expire (no joke...) in October, and other things begin to expire the beginning of next year. I don't know how much we will have to re-do, and how much we can simply get re-notarized. Our agency is not able to fit us in for a phone conference until next Tuesday, so I get to be clueless and waiting-- a bad combination for me! I just have to trust that God's hand is in the craziness and that His timing is perfect.
His bed.  Apparently the cat likes it, too.
That being said, I am excited to see little things come together. I found a new, very nice mattress set at a great price. Now my Little Guy's bed looks like a bed! I found sheets on sale for less than $5/set. They were from Christmas, but who cares? Red and white is cool. Today I found a Noah's Ark story book on sale. Little things like that make me feel a little more connected to my kiddo, as if this whole adoption thing might actually happen someday.
We expected our Little Guy home by now, and some days this weight certainly drags on me. Some days the whole thing seems hopeless and I struggle not to second-guess decisions we made almost two years ago about choosing an agency, choosing an age-range, etc. Other days, I am blissfully happy to wait and be involved with so many other activities outside of adoption. <sigh> Emotions. Gotta love them.
His HUGE stuffed leopard,
in plastic to keep it clean
As a side note, this afternoon, Philip and I happened to see an old friend at a social event. We barely got past “hello” before this individual was wondering if our Little Guy was raised in a mud hut? (Well, maybe, but we don't know...) Evidently “missionaries don't let their children play with kids raised locally because kids raised in a mud hut have seen everything, so get as young of a child as you can” and we should “make sure your boy is from such-and-such tribe in Ethiopia because they are of a higher class than the others” and have “straight noses and finer features” than other kids, and will “fit into your family” better.
I was glad that this person was primarily addressing my husband, because I doubt I could have remained civil. We were speechless that this person would utter such racist comments under the guise of protecting us from a mud-hut-raised--broad-featured--doesn't-look-alike child. I can't think of anything more insulting to adoptive parents!
Stuffed animals from S. Africa
It makes my heart ache for those kids that are older, who don't have much to look forward to in life, who aren't “beautiful” by western standards. They, too, are those kids for whom Christ shed His blood, on whom He pours out His love, who are beautiful in the eyes of their Creator, who's cries reach His ears, and whom He watches out for. What about them?
Yes, this is just something that, as adoptive parents, we will deal with forever. We knew about it when we signed our adoption application and we are reminded about it every time someone goes “Hmm. Oh.” at the news that we're adopting. It's a part of life. But it is still a shock.
Ok, I'm done with that little rabbit trail.  
Crazy. I'm beginning to come to grips with the idea that “crazy” is “normal”. And, as I seek God, lean on Him, walk in His ways and delight myself in His paths, I can totally handle “crazy” if the hand of God is in it!