Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Beating My Head Against the Wall- Part 1

Enough people freely vent their negative experiences that I do not feel the need to contribute mine. I really do try to keep all my FaceBook and blog posts primarily positive. However, there occasionally comes a time when its just not all peachy.

I do not have a “Part 2” or a “Part 3” planned for this post, but my suspicion will be that, sometime in the future, a sequel “Beating my Head Against the Wall” will ensue.

That having been said... the latest adoption news: this will take longer than we anticipated. Ok, really, it's nothing worse that that. Let me explain.

When we first started the adoption process the wait time for a referral was 3-6 months. When we submitted our Dossier, the Ethiopian government had begun it's overhaul of their adoption program (eliminating some fraud and whatnot) and the wait time had gone up to 6-10 months. Evidently instead of processing 40 cases a day, Ethiopia is now processing 5. Last night, we got an e-mail from our agency saying that referral times were landing in the 12-24 month range. In fact, because of the long wait time, our agency is putting a temporary hold on all new Ethiopia program applicants.

So what does this mean for us? Nothing except that it may in fact be 6-18 more months until we know who our son is. We're already 19 months into the whole adoption process. (Hey, for being 19 months pregnant, I think I look pretty good!)

My initial response to this news was a combination of disgust, frustration, sadness, and amusement. I mean, what else can I really do but throw up my hands and be surrendered to God's timing? It's utterly out of my hands, and totally in His hands. A friend posted on my FaceBook wall that times like this are “a mixture of sheesh, argh and trust. “ She's right.
So, we continue to wait. And wait. And wait some more. Yes, we're a little perturbed that our son won't be coming home for a long while longer. I cringe and get irritated with the idea that it will be even longer before my son gets the love and emotional support he needs, before he knows what a family is like and how much he is loved unconditionally. 

We firmly believe, however, that God can use this time for His glory, both in my own life as He continues to change me, and in my son's life. My son is not forgotten by his Creator, he is not left alone. His future is planned for him by the One that holds the future. There is no emotional damage that the Healer cannot overcome by His grace and mercy. There is no better timing than God's. It's ok. Really, it is. I might still beat my head against the wall sometimes because it is, humanly speaking, a little frustrating. Thank goodness I have a husband that can repair sheet-rock. But the bottom line is that it's ok. We're still adopting, we still have a little brown skinned boy running around over in Africa somewhere, and we will wait as long as it takes to bring him home.

So that's the latest news for anyone who might have been wondering. We appreciate your prayers!