Two blog posts in two days. Do not expect this trend to continue.
In my last post, I mentioned that we were done with the paperwork phase, and are now waiting for our referral. Most people assume that this is the hardest part. Waiting, anticipation, uncertainty...
Between my husband and I, I am the most organized, paperwork-competent person. I completed probably 90% of the adoption paperwork, waded through the notarization requirements and forms, the education requirements, running to the CPA, the bank, the doctors, the state capitol, etc. Asking and re-asking for stuff to be completed, insisting that it be done right. I am also the person that, after thinking I had done half a dozen forms incorrectly, broke down crying, convinced I was not cut out to be a mother. Philip put me back together again, and nothing had to be re-done after all.
What I am trying to say is that, despite my ability to handle 50+ documents to accumulate and notarize in triplicate, it was overwhelming at times. Never a day went by that I didn't look at that check-list on my fridge and see what was hanging over my head. This is our first adoption and I know that I did not complete things in the most efficient manner. It took longer than it needed to. But still, the fact remains, it took as long as it did because I did not get on the ball fast enough. It hinged on me. It was not restful.
Bear with me as I rehash an old story.
A long time ago in a land far, far away, there lived... Cyrus, king of Persia. Heathen king, heathen country. And God did a work in this king's heart, and in the hearts of His people, the Jews, and in the hearts of heathen kings after Cyrus. Ezra reads that the “Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus, king of Persia” (1:1) and caused Cyrus to desire to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem. Cyrus commands that Jews return to Jerusalem and start the work. He commands that gifts be given to these workers, freewill offerings, and more gifts for the house of God. Cyrus even gives the Jews articles out of his temple to his heathen god for the temple in Jerusalem. Cool stuff, right? It gets better.
There was a lull in the work, but it picks back up again during the reign of Darius. Darius receives a letter speaking against the Jews' work on the Temple. However, a search is done and Darius learns that his predecessors not only authorized the rebuilding but also commanded that all the expenses were to be paid by the king.
King Darius overrides the adversity, commands that the Jews are helped, not hindered, in their work, the kingdom pays the full construction costs, animals are given to the Jews for sacrifices, and that wheat, salt, wine, and oil should be provided every day for the workers. On top of it all, anyone opposing the work on the temple should be flogged and homeless.
A while later, Ezra the scribe comes into the picture and finds favor with God. God gives him favor with the current king, Ahasuerus. King “Aha” gives Ezra the liberty to go to Jerusalem, gives him silver, gold, freewill offerings, and a blank check for animals and anything else he would ever need. He makes priests and Levites tax-exempt, and has Ezra appoint leaders in Jerusalem to teach the ways of God.
I realize that there is more to the story, but the point that I want to emphasize is that these were heathen kings and heathen countries. God worked in their hearts and caused them to go above and beyond the call of duty for His people and His glory. The Jews were slaves. These kings had nothing to gain. No one in their wildest imagination expects stuff like this to happen in real life. But these are the things that God does. Crazy? Absolutely. What is left to do but worship the God of Heaven?Back to me. Me? Ezra? Yes. The permanent life-change of my husband and I is currently in the hands of an unbelieving group of people, waiting for them to pick our child. That, in itself, is scary. Actually, our future is really in the hands of the God who Sees. God used those heathen kings to do crazy-amazing things for the Israelites. The same God can use an ungodly group of people to accomplish His purpose for me and my family. He can put things into place better than I could ever dream. In His perfect time. None of it hinges on me. It is all, totally and completely, in His hands. And that is a very restful place to be.